Sunday, October 31, 2004

Quotes of the Day...

I was replying to a post on a blog focused on culture and this first quote came to mind, so I thought I might as well post it here as well and see if it causes any nibbles or responses:

"Music is Worship; whether it's worship of women or their designer, the world or its destroyer, whether it comes from that ancient place we call soul or simply the spinal cortex, whether the prayers are on fire with a dumb rage or dove-like desire...the smoke goes upwards...to God or something you replace God with...usually yourself." - Bono from his introduction to "Selections From The Book of Psalms" Grove Press, 1999.

My other quote comes from www.billycorgan.com

"...a kid said to me the other day, 'like, I heard you found God and stuff, is that true??' uh, no, I didn't find God...you cannot find something if it has never been lost...ok, maybe, in that thinking, God found me? It is not important, I am Billy, spirit made flesh, word made whole, insanity made mainstream, love made lover...life is good!!! Jesus people, please save someone who needs saving, there are many who are in greater need than I... I will never be a puppet for man's vision of the whole deal..." - Billy Corgan from his website post entry 10.24.04

Saturday, October 30, 2004

Jump!

I just got back from the last concert I will ever see at the former home of the Winnipeg Jets - the Winnipeg Arena which is scheduled to be torn down in the next little bit. Van Halen played for just over 3 hours of pure adrenalin...they haven't lost much if any of their energy & playing ability. Last time I saw them play was in 1991 and I distinctly remember the same ringing in my ears following that show! They played all their hits as far as I can recall - Panama, Right Now, When Its Love, Jump, 5150, Can't Stop Loving You, and You Really Got Me...

Off to bed I go...

Art

Quote of the day, "Art is not the truth. Art is a lie which enables us to approach the truth." - Pablo Picasso. After reading the quote, I wondered what other words we could replace art with...how about music? story? theology?

Just a thought - sometimes we need open doors to see what is in the next room.

G

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Season

I am in the midst of a change of seasons and it excites me! Coincidently, here in Canada we are close to entering a new season of snow - Winter. Autumn started out being warm but for the last couple weeks has been rather dreary - rainy & cold. I'm not sure how much the weather affects my psyche but I have been going through a season of disorientation. Even looking at my past number of blogposts I see my blogs as being rants and having an element of lament to them. In fact, I even entitled one lament. I'm not sure if it was that deep of a lament but it did release some of my thoughts & emotions.

We all go through seasons within our life, seasons of joy & happiness, seasons of dissaray - when everything seems to go wrong, and finally seasons that reflect on the difficulties gone through and the realization that we are better off than we were before. Walter Brueggemann in his book The Message of the Psalms - sees these three seasons of orientation, disorientation, & new orientation as sort of a lens in which we can look at the different psalms. In fact, it has become the template for much of what I have done in the psalms course I am teaching. Ironically, the season of disorientation, of lament has echoed what I am going through.

I have been challenged in my understanding of lifestyle, of what really is important. I have been challenged spiritually and taken a renewed look at calling, at ministry. I've realized more fully that life is not so much about doing as it is about being. Being who I am meant to be and affecting those around me by actually being me. Confused? Sorry - no excuses here...I'm leaving lament behind for now and focusing on the future. Yes I will look back at what I've learned but right now I'm about to leave my cocoon and take flight. It may be a slower process than what I would like but I can anticipate what lies ahead.

Here's a toast to new seasons & new understanding!

G

BTW - I managed to play U2's Wake Up Dead Man in my class and compared it first to Psalm 143:1-8 and then Psalm 44:23-26.

Friday, October 22, 2004

Survivor

Well - I have survived a week I would prefer not to repeat. I've worked enough hours that anyone sane would do in two weeks. 7:30am till 1:30am is plain not healthy - felt like i was on some kind of eco-challenge only worse - I was chained to my desk & computer. In fact, I have come to the conclusion that an eco-challenge may in fact be healthier because at least I would get to have some fresh air.

Interestingly, besides having astronaut-like stress levels I was pretty sharp for my classes. We got through an amazing amount of material, but more importantly we had some really good discussions in class regarding the concept of God in our lives. I asked some perhaps controversial questions regarding prayer and I may have blown up some boxes that people were formerly comfortable with.

One of my students in particular was bothered by the statement I made regarding praying for safety. This person felt that without prayer we were asking for trouble. I agree that praying for safety makes sense from a human perspective but what if you get into an accident? Does that mean you didn't have enough faith? You didn't pray enough? I think that is dangerous ground to walk on. Not everyone gets healed through prayer - does that mean they didn't have enough faith?

Bad things happen to good people - that is a fact. As much as we all would like to believe in Karma - justice is not necessarily present in our chaotic world. Perhaps there is a reason for pain & suffering in this world? Perhaps that is why the concept of grace is so critical.

I encouraged my class to pray for safety but with the clause that they would pray that God's will would be done. In other words, perhaps the crisis we go through has a direct purpose - and praying against something really isn't the point. Rather we should pray for wisdom and direction whatever the situation. I'm not sure if it is necessarily good that we are safe.

When do we grow as people? It is when we experience difficulties, tragedies, misfortune that we often are better equipped to give advice to others and have a better understanding of the role of God in our lives.

Obviously, we don't want people to get hurt or die and praying for journey's mercies are completely understandable but would it not be better to pray that whatever the circumstances God allows us to go through that we would be empowered by him to handle it.

The Scriptures call us to pray as Jesus did,

Our Father in heaven, may your name be honored.
May your Kingdom come soon.
May your will be done here on earth, just as it is in heaven.
Give us our food for today, and forgive us our sins,
Just as we have forgiven those who have sinned against us.
And don't let us yield to temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.

Amen

There is much we can learn from this prayer. How do we honor God? By being in relationship with him. It is not just about following rules or Torah, rather it is about communicating with him. It is important to acknowledge God's will and purpose here on earth. We need to be thankful for our situation, our food, our security & safety. We need to acknowledge our sin and that without grace we deserve karma. In other words - we reap what we sow. Sin breeds sin without intervention and it grows. You lie to someone and you don't want them to find out. So you cover your tracks. Think of a child - if they do something wrong what do they do? They hide. Not too different from the Genesis story of Adam & Eve. They sinned and tried to hide from God. It didn't work - they had to face up to their sin. Sin has consequences, forgiveness by God does not eliminate the consequence. Am I getting to preachy? Sorry - I tend to preach at myself more than anyone. Or maybe its just a rant.

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Futures

I heard the new Jimmy Eat World Futures cd today and was impressed. I believe it came out yesterday - sounds more like their Clarity album and will be on my "to buy" list. Still looking forward to U2's latest offering which will arrive November...

Ironically, I heard the new Jimmy album from some of my students in my Psalms class. I think they are impressed that I actually listen to some of "their" music - even though I'm guessing i was listening to the band prior to their exposure. I keep bringing music as an offering to them as well in my class - exposing them to greats such as Dylan, Cash, Cockburn, Knott, and of course U2.

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Lament

In true davidic fashion - I thought why not do a brief entry in response to the busyness of my life as of late. I am guessing that i put close to 70 hours, possibly more this past week in preparation for the new course I am teaching. Admittedly, I have wondered if it has been worth it all? What has the cost been to my lifestyle?

I enjoy my leisure time and plan on doing a serious mtn bike ride once a week for about an hour or so. I love spending any time I can outdoors, in fact at one time I used to get paid to work outdoors. I love to spend time playing with my daughters & wife! Our family usually spends a morning a week with our church community that meets in a building near where we used to live and every two weeks we spend an evening with our small group. But lately - all those things I love have been pushed aside to meet the demands of my so-called work or ministry.

How many hours do you pour into your work so that you can put food on the table, make those house payments, & buy those vehicles to put in your garage? How much does our lifestyle actually cost us? The government of Manitoba estimate that to raise a single child from 0-18 costs somewhere in the neighbourhood of $166,000 Cdn. Again, this is an average guestimate and perhaps a reflection of the lifestyle choices we force our children into. Why do we work? Obviously to meet the economic or physical needs of a family. But what about the emotional, social, & spiritual needs that exist?

Ironically, if I would maintain my current workload I most likely would be sacrificing my children on the altar of "doing." The hours we spend at work each week (even if it is a job that we truly enjoy) obviously are more than the hours we actually spend with our families right? In fact, even when we are home away from our workplace, often we are still at work solving some type of problem. The problem of our age is that often never leave work - our computers now fit in our pockets and tell us what to do hour by hour.

Humankind has made the mistake of believing that what we do actually counts for something when in reality it is who we are or are becoming which should really be recognized. Some people call this self-actualization - others simply call this discovering your calling. We have all been called to develop our character - to be people that extend grace & mercy to those less fortunate.

We are called I believe to some form of community - we all need friends and function best when we have other people to interact with & love. We are all called to commission - to reach out to the world in sharing what we have learned and in a Christian context - the good news that this life can have meaning beyond what we do or even who we are. And finally, I believe we are called to communion - to spend time reflecting on who we are becoming and we are called to be. For me personally, this not only includes self-introspection but God-introspection. Who is God and what does our relationship look like?

So here I sit in lament, typing out my frustrations but closer than ever to finding a way out of the cage. I may be deeper in the darkness but I'm closer to the light.

G

Friday, October 15, 2004

J33:3

Bono once described himself as having a form of Tourette's syndrome where he would always mention God in places where it was taboo. As if to confirm that, Bono recently confessed in Rolling Stone Magazine that the J33-3 on the cover of the album is a scripture reference. The verse is Jeremiah 33:3 and says "Call to me and I will answer you." "It's known as God's phone number" says Bono.

The above quote links nicely to my theme for this college year - "The Calling." What is our calling, our purpose in life, our passion? I love to teach - nothing gets me more excited (other than spending time with my family or spending some of my excess energy kayaking or mountain biking). Unfortunately, I'm at a stage or season right now though where excess energy just isn't there. I feel like spent uranium - I still can pack a punch but I no longer radiate as I was meant to do. I have mismanaged the time given me and filled it up with stuff I am unable to complete. The result is that I am experience a definite valley spiritually, physically, mentally, emotionally (not that there is a way of really separating the mind, body, heart & spirit). Despite the darkness I still have hope.

I can feel with Bono in that I often mention God in places where it may not be expected. That is because I see God in the strangest of places. I hear him listening to The Clash's song "Should I stay or should go" or watching an episode of Extreme Makeover Family Edition. It's weird where God appears. I've had another song in my head this past week - Bruce Cockburn's Closer To The Light - the chorus that goes something like "Gone from mystery into mystery, gone from daylight into night, another step deeper into darkness, closer to the light."

Ironically it is in those deep dark valleys or caves in the seasons of our life that we find that glimpse of grace, that distant hope that leads us back into the light. Right now, like David the Psalmist - I am frustrated with the world & chaos around me but I still have to be thankful for how God has blessed me & my family.

"What can I give back to God for the blessings he's poured out on me? I'll lift high the cup of salvation -- A toast to God! I'll pray in the name of God; I'll complete what I promised God I'd do, And I'll do it together with his people." - Bono quoted Eugene Peterson's paraphrase The Message Psalm 116 on the Elevation Tour before singing out "Where The Streets Have No Name."

G

Here's to simply taking a deep breath!

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Modules

Well module one is almost complete - exam this Friday! The course Interpersonal Processes has been a challenge but overall I think been a success. I have determined that sociology is a field that for me personally is more difficult to teach in. I'm more of a philosophy prof but it is good to be stretched. It may have been also the simple fact that it is much harder to teach 35 students as opposed to my normal sized classes of 15-20. Add to that some increased stresses due to an addition to our family, increased responsiblities in leadership with our church, & man do I miss mountain biking more than once a week.

Next course - I leave sociology for biblical studies (another stretch for me) - The Psalms! Together with my 17 students we will explore conversations with God (my tagline for the course). Another route to go would be Life of David but seeing as David clearly was not the only author it would not accurate enough for my details students. Although we will spend several lectures on the character of David and how he reflects best how we actually should communicate with God - honestly and without restraint. You are mad at God - tell him. You love your life - tell him.

This next module will go by quickly - I teach double blocks and for a solid three weeks as opposed to the regular 6. It will be tough but hopefully we'll all survive!

Professor G

Saturday, October 09, 2004

Thanksgiving

We've been blessed with some summer-like weather this weekend and our family has taken advantage of it! I took Chelsea to my dad & brother's farm today to take a ride on the John Deere Combine. She enjoyed steering the $300,000 gobbler of grain and even was brave enough to take a pee on the field due to the obvious lack of bathroom facilities.

We had a bountiful thanksgiving feast for lunch at my Mom & Dad's complete with turkey and all the dressings! And of course pie for dessert! And for supper we went to my Grandma Loewen's for a variety of soups & breads and again pie for dessert! I have always enjoyed autumn - I actually like the mix of cool & warm days, mountain biking without mosquitoes (although they were out today with the 25 degree C weather!), & the colors & crunch of leaves.

There is much to be thankful for - my lovely two daughters Chelsea & Aimee, my beautiful wife Wendy, a teaching job that I enjoy (even if I am overworked?), a great church family to be a part of, a secure & inviting house, the list goes on...

G

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Triking Parkview Crescent...

What is it about bikes, trikes & kids? There is something freeing & empowering about self-propelled transportation isn't there? With our infrequent tastes of warm weather this summer & fall - I've tried to take advantage of our opportunities to enjoy it by taking my daughter out for short spins on our crescent and the cul de sac down Parkview.

Chelsea like her dad loves speeding and the thrill of the chase or being in hot pursuit! Awhile back we made figure eights with our wheels by driving strategically through some puddles and thus transforming our rubber tires into paint brushes!

One of her newfound tricks is to drive with only one pedal or to ramp up onto the curb with one of her wheels. She has tipped a few times but generally this has not resulted in tears - only a little frustration. In mountain biking - the guys I ride with frequently comment that unless there is some blood loss - we haven't been pushing limits. Although there is truth to that statement - I want to limit that when it comes to raising a daughter.

Another recent interest of Chelsea is squishing crickets with her front wheel - not sure why the delight or why the hatred of a pretty harmless bug? I have so far refrained from going over the top environmental on her but perhaps I should intervene? Any thoughts out there? Hmmm - ironically I think I hear crickets...

Vampire Killer?

Grace takers versus grace givers....

Do we just drink the blood of salvation as some type of a pseudo-vampire professing belief in Christ (with apologies to Williard) or do we share the good news that there is hope in a future & present kingdom of peace?

Are we believers in Jesus or are we followers? Or do we view Jesus as simply a radical teacher who happened to claim that He was the truth, the life, the way?

Some still are seeking truth, others believe it as if it were true, some live truth and share it with whoever is willing to hear them out...

Do we got to church to have our needs met or to meet the needs of the church? Or do we even consider church to be anything other than a building?

Do we worship in song to attain some type of temporary euphoria or to truly acknowledge that God in someway has worth in our lives? Perhaps we worship our own lives, our successes, our personal kingdoms. "What have I become? My sweetest friend; Everyone I know goes away; In the end; And you could have it all My empire of dirt." - Hurt (as sung by Johnny Cash)

I long for honesty, integrity, & a genuine passion for living a life dedicated to following Jesus whereever He leads - even if it means to accept whatever the circumstance and actually embrace suffering...

There is something beautiful yet terrifying about a genuine Christianity that dies to self and lives on in others...

There is something disgusting, vomit-producing about the lukewarm faith of a so-called "Sunday Christian" - but then again how many of us actually live out what we believe?

There is something freeing about giving grace to others and not keeping it locked up in the confines of our own caged heart...

There is something holy about recognizing how unworthy but how amazingly our lives can be transformed from something of filth into something more pristine than a waterfall in the garden of Eden...

Are you a bloodsucker or do you share your lifeblood with those dying?

Are you willing to die for your belongings, your car, your house, your stuff - or are you willing to die to self?

The ponderings & musings of a postmodern truthseeker continue...