Perfectionism - Saintly or Sinful?

Perfectionism is one of my traits that I often deny. If you looked at the clutter on my desk or notes to self, you definitely would not guess it is one of my struggles. I am a professor and I love to teach. I teach a variety of college subjects ranging from interpersonal communication to youth ministry to outdoor education to leadership development. I love to inspire others to do what they are called to do, in other words live out their purpose here on earth!

One of the biggest sins that a teacher can commit, in my mind, is to bore people with information & facts. I see story & metaphor as one of the most effective ways of teaching & communicating truth. It unfortunately, takes much more time & planning to create classes that involves students, that causes them to think. It is easy to create lectures which require students to simply take notes while I spout of facts. So this is where perfectionism steps in & where I sometimes trap myself by going too far in preparation.

Curt Rosengren in his blog The Occupational Adventure notes the following anecdote relating to the "perfectionist definition of good enough" which rings so true for me:

A while back I was working with a client who had a serious perfectionist streak.

One session, as we were talking about the lack of satisfaction with anything this

client did, I said, "Do you know what I think your definition of good enough is?"

"What?"I walked up to the whiteboard and wrote: (What I did) + 1 = Good enough

So true! Confessions of a recovering perfectionist: How good does it have to be before I am satisfied? It will never be perfect! I know that it takes me about 8 hours to create a do-able lecture on whatever the subject, including an interactive PowerPoint presentation complete with some good audio or video clips that add to what I am attempting to communicate. If I put 16 hours into that presentation - it does not mean it will be twice as good. All the tweaking & refining of a presentation, might make things look slicker but the content for the most part is going to remain the same. The good ol' Pareto Principle states that "80% of the work gets done in 20% of the time." Parkinson's law follows the same idea that "work expands to the time available."

Monday Night Football!

Wow - another great game for the Packers putting them back in #1 spot in the NFC North! It also marked Favre's 200th game! I felt bad for St. Louis - I actually like their team but they got wupped by three touchdowns on Lambeau Field tonight. I was very impressed with Davenport's running & moves, good to have a great backup for Ahman Green who is still out nursing his ribs. Gotta love monday night football - methinks I may have to wear my jersey to class tomorrow...I love making the more traditional staff members at the college wince at my wardrobe. I've successfully worked three years and only worn a tie twice (my first year I claimed ignorance in not wearing my tie to grad) and they were both for graduation!! I can see the headline now...rebel prof fights status quo by wearing jeans & a football jersey...

Texture & Taste

I'm starting to really fall in love with U2's Atomic Bomb album, for whatever reason - songs I wasn't too fond of in the beginning are now fitting better and I'm sensing more of a flow to the album than originally. I think the closing song Fast Cars (on the UK & Collector's release) balances out Vertigo in the beginning and that may be part of it. I love the nostalgia that the album exudes from past albums while still pushing some musical boundaries for the band. It is very hard to do both but I think U2 have done it in some way. In other words, it is still clearly U2 but with a different overall texture & therefore taste. Which brings about my age-old question does texture affect taste? In food, in music, in art?

A Rocket & A Bomb

Speaking of taste...one of my favorite songwriters is Michael Knott (of LSU, Aunt Bettys, Cush - the most u2-like of knott's stuff, Lifesavers fame). Much like Dylan, he's got a lot of rough edges, a bit of maverick and is often misunderstood. He is an alcoholic, recently divorced, but has a clear love for his Maker. This belief in God however, does not mean he does not question God or his own struggles. His music is all about authenticity & asking real life questions. One of my favorite songs & albums by him is entitled Rocket & A Bomb. In it he questions & recognizes some of the bizarre things we often pray for. I think we often forget that prayer, like all forms of communication, needs to be two-way. We are very good at making requests and even making demands of God, but we often forget to listen to what He is telling us.

"Rocket and a Bomb"

Mr. In and Mrs. In

Can you please tell me what's in

And what is wrong with me

I'm never in your company

Mr. Out and Mrs. Out

What is this all about

Before you know it you've come in

And all I ever wanted

Was a good job and some bus fare

And a rocket and a bomb

A rocket and a bomb

Mr. Bill is there a Mrs. Bill

Does she tell you how you should feel

Does she let you get away

Will Sluggo come and make me pay

Mr. Bank is there a Mrs. Banks

Is she the one that turns the crank

Is there a Mary Poppins still

And all I ever wanted

Was a good job and some bus fare

And a rocket and a bomb

A rocket and a bomb

Mr. Life and Mrs. Life

Are you really in for life

Are you planning to make a break

Could it be a big mistake

Mr. God is there a Mrs. God

Could she help me find a job

One that pays enough to take

A rocket and a bomb

My favorite lyrics may sound simple from the outside, but when you savor them, explore them - suddenly you taste their actual depth. U2's lyrics have always done that for me and that is why I like Knott's music as well.

Dismantling The Atomic Bomb

Well, it's finally in my possession - the new U2 - How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb Special Limited Edition. It is a well-crafted package complete with a 48 page book of photos/artwork, the cd with a bonus track called Fast Cars, and a DVD with a documentary on 3 of the songs and five performances from U2 HQ. Well worth the $35 price tag from A & B Sound. I made a quick drive out to the store this morning (apparently through snow - now that it has arrived in formerly balmy manitoba) before having to get back for teaching my class. So here's my take on dismantling the album:

Many reviewers have noted how the album contains tracks that are reminicent of different time periods of U2's past 20 years of existence - some strong glimpses of Achtung Baby, a little ATYCLB, a touch of Joshua Tree at times, even a hint of Boy! The album of course opens with Vertigo which is a radio friendly upbeat song that clearly references Steve Lillywhite's role in producing albums 1 thru 3, & now 14 - uno, dos, tres, catorce. It is not my favorite tune but it will be fun one for the band to perform in concert and most likely will do well in the charts. It reminds of Elevation in that regard - again not my favorite tune but it did help sell ATYCLB. Miracle Drug opens with Joshua Tree-like atmospheric resonance and it clearly will be an incredible anthem for the tour. It is one of my favorite songs on the album, along with Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own which is all about its' chorus - big, beautiful and made for Bono to sing out almost like an opera-inspired tribute to his dad.

Love and Peace or Else begins a divergence from the first three tracks with more of darker, edgier, punkish feel to it. It is one of the more unique offerings on the album and I'm not sure what my thoughts are on it yet. City of Blinding Lights - starts out with again Joshua Tree-like atmosphere but morphs into a ATYCLB track with a Achtung Baby bridge within it and a unique chorus. I love the driving bass line through out the song. Actually the whole album's bass tracks are perhaps the best that Adam Clayton has ever blessed U2 with. All Because of You - is the next track and it has the energy of Vertigo but with less pop and a touch of punk-drive in the guitars.

A Man and A Woman - is kind of an emptier sounding song (in my opinion) and it may grow on me yet but I found the chorus too 70ish'. The bass line moves the song but the song as a whole leaves me wanting a bit more, my least favorite track on the album. Crumbs from Your Table is a powerful song and destined to be a big hit for the band. I think it is one of the more unique songs on the album and definitely one of the deeper ones lyrically. Catchy chorus and the bridge is classic U2 emotive & building! One Step Closer is another ballad off the album and I'm not sure where it fits in the U2 library - still digesting it and not sure what my thoughts are on it. It seems to have a touch of Lanois (I checked the liner notes and sure enough he helped with production on this one) which may be why it stands out (doesn't quite fit? but still a good tune) somewhat from the rest of the album.

Original of the Species - I love the title and the piano intro, the orchestration may be a little too much but the chorus is very well done -big, deep, & dreamy! I can imagine Pavarotti do a background vocal for this one which is why I see this song having a tie to The Passengers but in my humble opinion is a much better crafted song than Miss Sarejevo. Yahweh is basically Bono's worship song/hymn on the album and acknowledges the role of God in regards to redemption. Incredible chorus and prayerful meditative verses! I really like the vocals and Edge's classic ethereal ringing guitars throughout. U2 again produces a reflective yet building bridge, and clearly are the masters of seguing a song from a bridge into the rest of the song seamlessly. The bonus track for UK and collector's edition of the cd is Fast Cars which in many ways is a perfect bookend for the album. It matches Vertigo in energy and with a very Spanish flavour (oddly a little Beatle-esque with a dash of flamenco or something?). This is perhaps the most danceable tune on the album and my daughter Chelsea's favorite for that very reason.

I've actually heard some of the B-sides (Vertigo remix, Neon Lights & Are You Gonna Wait Forever) and will comment on them some other time. Overall, I'm very pleased with the album but then again I am a U2 fanatic so what do you expect! I think I still like Joshua Tree & Achtung Baby better and I haven't decided which album will get third spot yet - HTDAAB may beat out ATYCLB but maybe not. Love to hear fellow U2 fan's responses on the album! Is there anybody out there?

G

Calm Before The Storm 2?

Well, I'm about 30 hours or so from running a youth event at the college and I'm surprisingly pretty relaxed. I have about a 100 high-school aged youth and 20 chaperones/sponsors arriving on campus tomorrow late afternoon. I'll have about 60 or so college students running different activities, leading worship, & taking the youth on different opportunities for service (soup kitchens, drop-ins, etc). My job is to coordinate the madness of programming, so that people can grow in their relationships to others and ultimately with God.

So today, I'm doing my best to rest before the chaos hits. I am not really a details person but for the most part the details seem to be taken care of. That is thanks to the details people around me and admittedly I have a fair amount of experience of running these types of events at colleges & camps. It's the unknown aspects of such events that are scary and obviously hardest to prepare for. We'll see what happens but in all honesty, I can hardly wait for next Tuesday and the official release of How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb by U2. If I survive till then, I can make it through the chaos. I hope to escape to the wilderness for a short mtn bike ride and find some peace there as well.

G

Go Packers!

It was a close & exciting win by Green Bay over Minnesota! Brett Favre led the Packers with 4 touchdown passes and dominated the first half of the game. Culpepper responded and tied up the game with less than 2 minutes to go but thankfully the Packers clinched the game with a fieldgoal bringing them back on top of the NFC North after a 4 game winning streak! See the NFL Standings for a full NFL report!

On a side note, Packer's fans once again (3rd time) have clinched the top clicked donations for Cambell's Soup "Click For Cans" contest of all NFL team fans. Soup will be donated via Campbell soup to a needy soup kitchen determined by the GB Packers!

Yep - I'm wearing my Favre jersey!

Escape

Another great autumn day in the Sandilands! This time round Pat & I were joined by our wives Darlene & Wendy. Wendy & I dropped off Chelsea & Aimee at the grandparents and made our big escape! Our goals were simple - take a leisurely hike along one of our mtn bike trails and construct a new descent that joined up with a trail we marked out earlier in the week. So armed with machetes, pruners, & a couple rakes we made our way to our biking paradise! Admittedly, I was pretty stoked that our wives joined us and that they actually seemed to enjoy helping us with the trail. We worked a solid couple hours and I'm guessing the trail will be ready to ride with another couple hours of work. Hopefully, the snow holds off till Christmas! Wishful thinking but it has happened in the past.

The trail itself follows a pretty high ridge and rolls along singletrack through some poplar stands and makes a steep descent across our original trail (x-country ski trail in winter) and heads down through some willows and into a cedar stand with some very cool twisted & gnarled trees. The ground unfortunately is very spongy by the cedars but we are hoping it will firm up after some riding. If not, we will have to build it up with some split logs or something (a mild north shore attempt?).

I'm looking forward to taking my bike down the steep next week sometime!

Chain Breaker

Hey - another mountain bike blogpost! Pat & I hit our Sandilands X-country Race trail again and had a blast. My conditioning is a little off but it still was a good ride. We stopped to do a little trail construction near a cedar stand but the ground needs to be raked and then hardpacked before it is really ridable. Also found a couple cool downhill runs off a ridge near our main trail - hope to develop them as well. Managed to twist my chain on one of my descents through some brush - glad my chain breaker was with me! Riding conditions were perfect, it was a balmy minus two degrees Celsius.

I'm enjoying the two U2 Vertigo singles (which Wendy graciously picked up in the Peg yesterday!) and admittedly I've had a listen to the Atomic Bomb rough tracks currently online - very, very good! Looking forward to the full-album release on the 23rd! I'll be picking up collector's edition complete with DVD & a booklet!

Later!

G

Benchmark

Well - it has been six months of blogging and what have I learned? As an experiment into self-reflection it has been quite rewarding. I used to journal back in college but I always struggled with making consistent entries. With this whole online journaling thing, for whatever reason, I've managed to consistently make at least 2 entries per week. I think that's pretty good.

I've also appreciated some of the dialogue that other posters have contributed the musings of my wandering mind. In some ways, I wish I had more interaction but perhaps that it is an unrealistic expectation. I have learned though that generally speaking, when one responds on another's blog - often that blogger will respond to your site. I'm not sure if that is a courteous expectation or if it just happens randomly. My guess though is that we are all curious as to how others percieve our thoughts, however random or unique or mundane they are.

What has happened in my life in the last six months. Well, I'm living in a new house and operating a new computer. Wendy and I celebrated our 8th anniversary on June 14th. My family has expanded from one daughter to two! Chelsea will be three years old on the 17th and Aimee will be three months old on the 8th! I am in the midst of module three in my third year of college teaching and I still am surviving more or less.

The summer flew by way too fast, and it seems autumn is likewise. Has blogging been worth it? I think so - we'll see where we are at another six months from now and I'll be a yet better judge.

G

Beautiful Day!

It was a beautiful day! That's right I went on a three hour ride with three of my former high school friends, Pat S., Kent K., & Reg F. We made arrangements earlier in the week to leave around 7:30am and drive out to Ingolf, Ontario about 1 1/2 hours from here for an epic mountain bike tour d' trail! Pat and I on full-suspension cross country and Reg & Kent on free-ride bikes...different styles of riding but considering the technical nature of the trail we actually stayed pretty close together for the most part.

The trail provided plenty of excitement, rolling granite, some minor drops, some good climbs and dicey descents! All in all - very rewarding! Plus with Reg & Kent along - guaranteed laughter! Unfortunately, there was a lot of rain in the last number of weeks and a number of sections of the trail were submersed making the travel a little wet at times. The weather was perfect - somewhere around 12 degrees C, no wind, no rain!

At one point, we met up with a guy in his thirties making a campfire along the shore of the lake. He was making lunch for himself and his 2 year old son, who happened to be hiding behind a nearby boat. Apparently, the boy (who kind of looked like a hobbit) was a little intimidated by 4 mtn bikers. The father had travelled by ATV with his son & dog. Pat decided to interact with the dog and picked up a big stick. He chucked it and his unfortunate aim ended up heading for the little boy - who basically retreated under the boat for cover. Thankfully, the stick bounced off the overturned hull of the boat but we decided to leave shortly thereafter, thinking we had outstayed our welcome. So we grunted our way up a good climb back on the trail, trying to contain our laughter at what had just taken place. Admittedly, I was probably getting more of a workout from laughing than the actual climb at that point!

All in all - it was a great ride complete with a little blood loss and scar on my arm & shin! I made some very technical climbs that I wasn't expecting to make and the steep descents complete with some loose rocks made for some good times as well. It was good to be back on my bike and hanging out with friends, but man I'm feeling pretty wiped right now!

G